Do Not Blame Life for Your Problems

One common mistake we often make is expecting life to treat us kindly at all times. Sometimes, life ‘throws’ us down to make us stronger. The challenges we face are not meant to pull us down and shatter us forever; rather, they serve to “sit us down” and mold us into better people. Those moments of struggle are intended to help us think and plan for the next level of our journey.

I view every problem, obstacle, or frustrating moment as a stepping stone to becoming a bigger and better version of myself. How do you interpret those challenging moments? When I find myself down, I don’t focus on the event that caused it but instead concentrate on three key questions:

1. Why am I down?

2. How do I get back up?

3. How can I avoid future falls?

I aim to learn from my experiences to prevent similar situations in the future. After reflecting, I also think about “the way forward.”

Before I learned this valuable lesson, I often reacted with anger and frustration, sometimes even looking to blame someone else for my failures. Over time, I realized that being angry and upset wouldn’t help me during these moments, just as blaming others wouldn’t either. It’s a waste of time because, at the end of the day, nothing good comes of it.

The key is to stay focused, be confident, remain positive, and have the drive to continue. I believe that times of tribulation should serve as a period for serious reflection and planning.

I understand it’s not easy to maintain focus when we’re troubled. However, with determination and a constant reminder that negative energy only worsens our situation, we can overcome these challenges. What I discovered is that when we focus on the negativity during difficult times, we tend to blame life instead of considering what we might have done wrong.

I’ve heard many people express sentiments like, “Why is my life different? Why is life so unfair to me?” I don’t agree with these perspectives. I don’t blame life because it owes me nothing; instead, I owe it to myself and to life itself to succeed and make the most of the gift I’ve been given. Many people don’t have this gift, so simply having it is enough of a reason to be grateful.

Just as the gift of life was given to me, it was given to others too. No one owes you anything in this regard.

If you succeed, you take the praise; if you fail, you take the blame. Life’s only responsibility is to give us life. Everything else about our lives—how we live it, how we react to unpleasant situations, and what we make of it—is in our hands.

When you fail, what do you do? Do you get back up and push forward, or do you sit down and wallow in sorrow while blaming life and those around you?

I encourage you to reflect on this.

Shalom!